Who to call first?
Who to Call First?
Whether you received a 2 a.m. phone call with news of an unexpected death or shared your loved one's final moments of a long illness, your initial reaction to the death was likely shock. It doesn't seem to matter how prepared we are - or aren't - a loved one's death often leaves us feeling numb and bewildered. If you're responsible for making the funeral arrangements or executing the will, shock and grief can be immobilizing. Even simple decisions can be overwhelming.
Making the First Phone Call
What to do first depends on the circumstances of the death.
Hospital: When someone dies in a hospital, the staff will notify the family and arrange for the certifying physician to complete the appropriate section of the death certificate. The doctor or hospital representative will speak with the next-on-kin regarding the issues of an autopsy and organ donation. The hospital will not notify the funeral home; that call must be made by the family. However they do keep the funeral home staff updated as to the status of the death certificate, autopsy and organ donation. In Massachusetts, the person cannot be moved from hospital to the funeral home without the death certificate from the doctor.
Long Term Care Facility: When a loved one dies in a long term care facility, the staff will notify the primary contact and usually also notifies the funeral home on behalf of the family. At that time, a registered nurse will notify the physician then complete a pronouncement form, or the on-site physician will complete the death certificate. In either case, the funeral home will have the necessary document to move the person from the nursing facility to the funeral home.
At home under hospice care: When a loved one dies at home under hospice care, the first call is to the hospice agency. Do not call 911. The hospice agency will send a registered nurse to the home. She will pronounce the death, notify the physician, and complete the pronouncement form that allows the person to be moved from home to the funeral home. The hospice nurse will also offer to make the call to the funeral home on behalf of the family.
At home, not under hospice care: In Massachusetts, if a person dies at home and is not under hospice care (even if they were receiving nursing care of some type) the medical-legal community must be notified. That means the town emergency department must be called first; call 911. They will come to the home, review the circumstances and notify the Office of the Chief Medical Examiner. The Medical Examiner's Office, based on personal health information gathered at the scene and in conjunction with the person's doctor, will decide if the funeral home will be allowed to transport the person to the funeral home, or if the person will be transported for additional investigative procedures at the Medical Examiner's Office.
You will need to notify family, friends and clergy. It may be easier on you to make a few phone calls to other relatives or friends and ask each of them to make a phone call or two to specific people, so the burden of spreading the news isn't all on you. If you are alone, ask someone to keep you company while you make these calls and try to cope with the first hours after the death.
Call a Funeral Director
Whatever the circumstances of death, one of your first calls should be to a licensed funeral director. We are here to help you:
- Transport the body
- Obtain a death certificate
- Select a casket, urn and/or grave marker
- Arrange the funeral, memorial and/or burial service
- Prepare the obituary
- Offer grief support or direct you to other resources
Call the Employer
If your loved one was working, you'll need to call his or her employer immediately. Ask about the deceased's benefits and any pay due, including vacation or sick time, disability income, etc. Ask if you or other dependents are still eligible for benefit coverage through the company. Ask whether there is a life insurance policy through the employer, who the beneficiary is and how to file a claim.
Call the Life Insurance Company
Look through the deceased's paperwork for the life policy. Call the agent or the company and ask how to file a claim. Usually the beneficiary (or the beneficiary's guardian, if a minor) must complete the claim forms and related paperwork. You'll need to submit the death certificate and a claimant's statement to establish proof of claim. Remember to ask about payment options. You may have a choice between receiving a lump sum or the having the insurance company place the money in an interest-bearing account from which you can write checks.